Remembering Aileen

Originally published at https://www.splicetoday.com.

CW: Death of a child

Evangelicals think the only reason atheists don’t believe in God is because something bad happened. This is found in many Christian movies: the Angry Atheist Antagonist who hates God because a loved one-typically a mother, but it can also be a child, a sibling, or a significant other-died of cancer years ago. After a brief discussion on why God allows bad things to happen-the answer to which is always, “God works in mysterious ways”-the Angry Atheist Antagonist becomes a Christian by the end. This is bullshit. I’ve met Christians who’ve maintained their faith after losing a child and atheists who’ve never suffered a tremendous loss. However, sometimes it does take a tragedy for one to realize something isn’t right, like seeing a two-year-old in a coffin.

It was the Friday before Labor Day weekend, 2012. I was working at a public library then, mainly serving patrons at the circulation desk, but sometimes shelving books as well. My co-workers and I were discussing our plans for the holiday weekend when one of the librarians, Jaime, called. Her two-year-old daughter Aileen wasn’t responding, and she was being flown to Johns Hopkins. I was ready to leave work and drive to the hospital, but since another librarian was already there with Jaime, my supervisor said the only thing I could do was…